Alis interview

Alis interview

I: Could you please tell me how your mental health issues have affected you in your life?

A: I have been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder in the past where I have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety. The anxiety was really intense and I felt like I am going crazy or something really bad is going to happen. It affected my life when I couldnt really do anything or concentrate on anything. I first got panic attacks in Iran when I was there for holiday. I went and saw a couple of doctors there and described my symptoms to them, but they clearly didnt understand. They just looked at me blank like they have no idea and prescribed some vitamins. It was when I came back to the UK. Even then, the GP didnt understand and referred me to mental health team. It was there when they asked me more questions and diagnosed me with anxiety disorder.

I: How would you describe a typical day of your life when you were affected by your mental health issues?

A: I would wake up in the morning dreading another day but at the same time hoping that time is on my side. I would wonder whether I will have a panic attack today or not. I will eat knowing that eating is good for me and encourage myself to keep a fitness and gym routine as in the past that has really been beneficial for my mood even before I had anxiety issues. If I was studying, at the time I would find it hard to concentrate but at the same time I wouldnt beat myself up for me because I know Im doing my best. Or if I am working, I would know at least Im getting on with life.

I: How did you normally cope with the symptoms?

A: When panic attacks were really bad, I started seeing doctors. At that time, I think anxiety issues were not really understood that much so I would be googling my symptoms and looking for solutions. When the GP in UK referred me to psychiatrist, I was prescribed Citalopram at a low dose. I noticed a difference within 24 hours. To cope with my symptoms at first, I started going to gym which improved my mood and made me feel better about myself. I would go out and have drinks at the weekends as a way to forget about the anxiety which at that point led to depression as well.

I: How would you describe your relationship with your family during that time?

A: It was good. My family seemed worried which made me feel bad for it. But my father was very supportive and would take me out for a drive when my anxiety was really bad and talk to me which really helped, at least temporarily.

I: What roles (if any) did your friends have in coping with your mental health issue?

A: I did not really tell my friend how I was feeling. Although, at times I would tell them that I have anxiety and would describe to them what it is, and I dont think they really understood it. Friends did have a positive role in the sense that when I went out with them, I felt part of my friends group and also it was a bit of distraction.

I: How did you feel about being in a relationship at the time?

A: At the time, I was single but was desperate to be in a relationship where someone would be there for me and show me love. I felt like it would ease my anxiety a great deal. I was craving it. I would even go out only to find someone. and I did a few times but on reflection, I can see it was not really a good idea. Because I think the anxiety may have ruined it. Because if you go into a relationship like that you would be vulnerable and may become dependent. You may even have unreasonable expectations which may lead to disappointment.

I: You mentioned that you sought professional help. How was your experience?

A: Yes. Panic attacks came on intently and suddenly so I sought professional help quite quickly. Although it took a few doctors to diagnose me correctly with anxiety disorder, but once it was diagnosed, I was prescribed Citalopram which greatly helped. Although my anxiety didnt go away completely, it was controlled and much more intense. My sleep was better. I started feeling better.

I: Can you tell me if you have ever used drugs or illicit substances to cope with your symptoms and how it felt?

A: Yes, I used alcohol at weekends to numb the anxiety but I think I felt much worst when it wore off. Until I drank again. So, it turned into a bit of a cycle. At one point, I became addicted to Tramadol which is an opiate-based pain killer to deal with my anxiety. Through that addiction, I think I lost myself and my personality. I was either high or depressed sort of like bipolar maybe. It took a few years and a much deeper depression and anxiety for me to get off the addiction. But once I recovered and started exercising and eating as a routine, I started to feel much better than I had felt in years.

I: Have you ever used any distractions as a coping method to deal with your symptoms? (This could include games/gambling/ pornography or even work/studies). If so, how did you find it?

A: I think I used them all. I did gambling and it was really distracting no matter how bad I felt gambling distracted me from it. but I lost a lot of money which then made me feel a lot worst afterwards. I used to gamble all the time to distract myself. There was time where I would be looking for money all around the house to go and gamble. That can also become a habit which can affect your relationship if you are in a relationship. I have never been one to focus on work or studies as a distraction because my concentration was always affected when I was struggling with anxiety.

I: In what ways would you say that your mental health had affected your work and/or studies?

A: well, I was studying at the time. It affected my concentration. The medication I was on made me feel tired during the day and sleepy. When I did get a job I was already gambling as a result of my anxiety. The gambling, of course, made me not have any money so you can see it's like a domino effect the anxiety led to gambling and gambling led to having no money.

I: Have you ever been a part of a social group or club (e.g. fitness club)? If so how did you find it in regards to your mental health?

A: I have been a member of gyms. The gym has always been positive in regards to my mental health. Firstly, the exercise makes me feel good. Secondly, improving my physique also makes me feel good about myself and my self-esteem. Gives me confidence.

I: Have you ever tried any other ways to help you cope with your symptoms such as religion/spirituality/meditation? If so, what was your experience?

A: I have used religion. I used to pray. I think it temporarily helped but not long-term. Not like the gym. I tried meditation. Sometimes I felt like it helped sometimes I felt like it made me feel worst. coz it made me focus on the issue.

I: How do you think an ideal man should deal with his mental health symptoms in the society?

A:An ideal man would be a strong man. Mentally strong. The one who isnt controlled by his emotions. Who is firm and kind. It is the man who everyone else seeks for reassurance. He is very independent. He would deal with his mental health issues. Well, I cant imagine him having mental health issues like it's contradictory but if he suddenly felt depressed or felt anxious, I would say he would isolate himself until he feels better. Although this may not be very helpful. I mean it is ok if he cried or shows emotions as long as there is a good reason for it. Not just because he feels depressed.

Finns transcript

I: Ok the first question is in your own opinion do you have any mental health issues?

F: of course, gambling and addiction is a mental health issue.

I: some believe that gambling is a symptom of a mental health problem. What do you think?

F: No, I didnt gamble out of mental health problem, I would only get depressed when I gambled and lost. Actually, I think I was depressed already, I never gambled when I lived in my country. I was so happy. I moved to the UK and visited my country after a while. Believe it or not, I gambled 400 000 of my father's money in one and half year when I went back to my country. So, yeah, I had depression.

I: Does anyone in your family have a history of mental health issues?

F: No. No one. My sister had depression for a while. My mom told her its all in your head you have to strengthen your mind. Then everything was ok.

I: Before you went to visit your family in your country. Were you already gambling?

F: Yeah, but it wasnt like I put 500 on a game.. it would be like 5 or 20 at most. My depression started from before I went back to my country. It started after a few years of living in the UK. I had to go to court and it started from then.

I: So, how did you manage your depression back then?

F: Maybe have a drink couple of times or once a week. Then heavy gambling started. I would get my grandma's card and gamble thousands of pounds.

I: Why do you think you gambled?

F: Well if youre not depressed you would go and exercise, go places, only the fools will gamble.

I: describe a typical day of your life when you were depressed from the moment you got up.

F: I didnt even wanna get up. Then I just wanted to do something to come out of that mood. whether it was smoking weed or drinking.

I: From the moment that you got up?

F: Yeah, from the moment I woke up. I lived in a basement. It was depression. Actually, the first thing that comes into my head is whats the point of life. I feel guilty. Guilty that I didnt do better. why did I do all this stupid stuff to be here now?

I: How do you deal with this guilt?

F: like I said drink and as the day goes by that feeling fades. I smoke to numb the mind.

I: When you were depressed, how would you say your relationship with your family was?

F: I didnt wanna see anyone or talk to anyone. I had no relationship with any of them.

I: what about friends?

F: Friends were more important because if you tell your family certain things, they will get worried and depressed. So, you try not to tell them. Like your mom might sit down and cry, but your friends wont sit and cry for you. For this reason, my family dont know. They dont even know that I still gamble.

I: Ok, so in your opinion do you think friends have a positive role or a negative role in depression? Or maybe it's both?

F: Yes, let me give you an example, my friend Jack is negative. If you tell him about the way that you feel, he will be like what do you have to be depressed for. He will make you even more depressed. But Ross, he is positive. He will say come on, it cant get any worse than this. It will only get better. Cant get any worst.

I: so you mean when friends are positive and understanding it helps rather than being negative and not understanding

F: Yes 100%.

I: How about being in a romantic relationship?

F: I would rather be alone.

I: why would you rather be alone?

F: because for example being in a relationship the other person will constantly be like yeah what is it babe? she will want to get you out of depression she will make it worst. I dont know Im like this when Im stressed. I had a girlfriend call Christina and I used to ignore her. I used to say look Im depressed. Even with Leanne who went out with me after Christina, I did the same. Because you will get on their nerves too when youre depressed. I would rather be alone.

I: What of the partner was more understanding?

F: I doubt it. because at the end of the day in the relationship the girl is after her own benefit. In my opinion, in a relationship if a girl sees that you are very depressed, she will mug you off. Coz she will think why should she ruin her life for someone else.

I: Have you ever thought about seeking professional help like doctor?

F: No, my mom and family say the same thing. I went to a professional a couple of times when I visited my country. I saw that they are chatting shit so I gave up. After 5, 6 months my mom said see your much better now. She said that I used to shout a lot but that I wasnt doing that anymore. So maybe I was ok for a while then gambling fucked everything up again.

I: why do you think that the doctor didnt help?

F: because i went with the English mentality and they were saying other bullshits. Theyd ask me stupid questions. I would be like look shes couple of years younger than me and she wants to fix me. Its not in the UK, so maybe if I went to the doctor here, I would have maybe got different results.

I: so why didnt you go to the doctors here?

F: I told Ross recently to book me an appointment. Cos alcohol and drugs, they just temporarily numb and distract you.

I: What other things did you do to distract yourself?

F: When I got paid and gambled it then I would focus on work even more. I didnt even care if I was working 7 days a week. Actually, towards the end, my depression used to get better knowing that I was gonna get paid, then when I got paid and gambled, I would get worse.

I: Would you say that your depression affected your work?

F: Of course, you have no motivation. Ending up arguing with my boss every day. You have no urge to work, just forcing yourself to just finish the day.

I: Have you ever joined any clubs or gyms since you had your depression?

F: no, cant see them helping.

I: have you ever used any other ways to deal with your depression like maybe religion and or meditation?

F: Religion yeah. I used to read and try and pray a lot but it didnt help much.

I: if I were to ask you to describe an ideal man who is a role model in the society how would you describe him?

F: I have no such ideal. But I think anyone in their own way can be their own ideals. In a normal way. Not in the poison way that I am. If I dont gamble in 6 months, I would have enough money to buy a BMW and go and see my friends. Then I would be my own ideal.

Writing up an IPA analysis

When writing up, the aim is to turn the analysis illustrated in your table of themes into a flowing, readable, narrative account. This involves:

Informing the reader what master themes were generated through the analysis and what emergent themes make up the master themes.

Presenting and discussing each master theme in turn, exploring the emergent themes and using quotes from participants which illustrate and support the points you discuss

Clearly distinguishing between what is your interpretation and what the participants actually saidDrawing on and weaving in existing Psychological literature on the topic, as far as the very limited wordcount allows.

Usually, you would present a narrative account of all the themes which have relevance to your research aim. However, for the purposes of your assignment you do not need to write up all of your master themes (two or three master themes) should be sufficient to write up.

Look carefully at your table of themes and select which Master themes to focus your write up on. One way to make this choice is to consider which themes appear most relevant to your research question or aim.

Make a note below of the Master themes you have selected, including all the emergent themes they contain:

The write up of the analysis begins with a brief introduction which tells the reader what participants were asked to talk about and all the master themes this generated

For example:

The research invited participants to reflect upon what they believe promotes happiness. The IPA analysis generated three master themes (see table of themes in appendix 1) providing insight into views about What happiness is, What happiness brings and What happy people do. This section will focus on only the first of these clusters.

Use the space below to write your brief introduction (suggest 100 words)

Your short introduction is followed by the title of the first Master theme you have chosen. Under this Master theme title, provide a brief summary of what this theme shows about your research topic and aims, making sure to list all the emergent themes that sit in the cluster,

For example

What happiness is?

This master theme comprised of the emergent themes; A state of mind, Feeling not logic and Something everyone wants. These themes illustrated the diversity of ways in which participants viewed happiness, suggesting that what constitutes happiness varies from person to person

Use the space below to write your theme title and your brief summary of what it shows (50 words maximum)

The write up progresses with the introduction of each of the emergent themes, in turn, to the reader. For each theme you should indicate, which participants used the theme, what the theme illustrates about the topic area and provide an illustrative quote. It is also usual to relate what participants said to relevant research literature or theories - just as you learnt about in the lecture Writing up Qualitative Research. For example;

The themes emerged in response to the initial question Perhaps we could start by each of you saying what happiness means to you?. The theme Feeling not logic arose from Monas initial response which suggested that, for her, happiness was distinctly related to emotion, as this quote illustrates

Well, its an emotion isnt it (p) something that you feellike joy. It isnt logical or definable (3:22-23)

However, it quickly became apparent that this was not a view shared by all participants, as firstly Amreen and then Zeeshan indicated

Amreen (overlap) I think its definable, I think (end overlap) you can describe the feeling (3:23-25)

Z eeshan Yeah! I agree (p) [inaudible] , but I think it is a way of thinking as well as a way of feeling (3:25-27)

Their responses, whilst different, generated the theme a state of mind. For Amreen, the disagreement centred on the definable nature of happiness, and whilst Zeeshan agreed for him, it was clear that in his view happiness also involved cognition. All three responses are consistent with Carrs (2004) arguments that happiness refers to both positive feelings and positive states. They also reflect arguments in the literature which suggest that we can use cognitive training mechanisms to increase our happiness (Seligman, 2002).

[NB: example is an unfinished extract]

Use the space below to practice writing up the master theme and its emergent themes

Now repeat the process for your 2nd/ and 3rd master theme.

The write up of the master theme ends with a brief summary section summarising what the theme has shown in relation to the research question you asked.

For example

Summary

The cluster of themes What happiness is offers support for some of the findings of emerging quantitative research from the area of positive psychology. Much of this research has followed an objectivist, post-positivist paradigm relying heavily on statistical analysis of self report data. This data suggests that the definitions of happiness being employed in such measures and the finding that happiness is universally desirable are consistent with peoples individual viewpoints. However, the disagreement indicated between Mona and Amreen and Zeeshan highlights the importance of ensuring that definitions are broad and inclusive.

Use the space below to makes notes for your brief summary.

Davids transcript

I: Can you tell me about your mental health issues?

D: Ok, so like Ive got diagnosed with depression and anxiety since childhood. I am also waiting for diagnosis of high function autism. The anxiety and depression is probably the side effect of it rather than being independent so on a daily basis it could be a roulette of any three. So you could wake up with depression or anxiety. It could manifest in anger. It could change throughout the day. But their baseline is continuously present.

I: What are some of your coping strategies when it comes to your anger if you have any?

D: For me the biggest coping mechanism is distraction in the sense that I do a lot of work like writing. Like my job which is on the computer, I can focus and put it all together but when I am not doing anything creative then anything can happen. So, the gym, yeah, definitely helps to burn off that extra energy. But it doesnt solve anything.

I: Can you describe to me a typical day of your life when you are dealing with the issues?

D: If it's depression, I get up and cant do anything. Thats all I can do and thats the worst thing for me coz I need to be up and be creative and do things. So for me, lying in bed with depression gives me anxiety if you know what I mean.

I: You mean it makes you feel worst?

D: Yeah. That might happen a couple of times a month. That bad. But the rest of the time its in the background and it takes your energy out. Like something is quietly draining out your energy. Nothing could be wrong, its just tiring.

I: So, you mentioned your job as a distraction and one of your biggest coping mechanisms. Can you explain how your job helps you as a distractor?

D: It's really doing something productive. Doing something creative. Gym helps me but it has to be intense exercise. It cant be just jogging on the treadmill. It has to be steady like boxing, MMA. You know? something with a lot of intense focus.

I: How would you describe your relationship with your family during your struggles?

D: Very negative, I think it was one of the lowest points. I dont think other people have the answers to your problem. it's up to me to figure it out so I dont burden other people with it unless asked.

I: How would it feel like to be in a romantic relationship during your mental health struggles?

D: Relationship helps. It has to be like both of you independently working together. Whereas the last relationship I had, ended because of depression and anxiety so it actually caused that to end like a massive factor in it really. So, it can help but it can also be worst.

I: I understand. What about friends? What is their role in your life?

D: The right kinds really really help but they have to make the efforts to contact me because Im quite naturally withdrawn. But the right kind of friends who would get you out and help you to come out of your shell, yeah, definitely helps.

I: have you ever sought professional help?

D: Yeah, a lot. When I was younger I was asked to go see a psychiatrist, and more recently, I have been involved with a psychiatrist and other mental health professionals. I didnt always want to seek help because I thought it signalled weakness. I didnt want to come across as weak as if something was wrong with me.

I: have you ever used any illicit substances to cope with your symptoms?

D: In the past yeah definitely. I still do drink but before it was more to blank it out. Now, its more of a social thing coz with the anxiety the drinking does help me loosen up but in the past, I used to absolutely smash it just to like blank everything out. So that was definitely very harmful.

I: why would you say it was harmful?

D: because the alcohol for me is a trigger for depression. So, the positive as the alcohol is coming on, it lessens the anxiety. But then on the downward curve as its leaving your body, it exacerbates the depression.

I: have you ever used any other distractions gambling or other risky behaviours?

D: i would say my main distraction is work or the gym. I used to work 12 hours a day and I would only stop when my brain couldnt do any more work so thats when I was like using it to cover things up whereas now I do have like 5 or 6 hours of work a day really intense and then stop and go and do something else.

I: How do you think you coped by working 12 hours a day?

D: It would increase fatigue which would in turn make depression worst.

I: so, a bit like alcohol it temporarily makes you feel better then it makes things worst?

D: Yeah, the thing is if I wake up and dont do anything productive, I get anxiety.

I: You probably answered this but I will ask anyway because you might have a different answer. in what way would you say your mental health has affected your work?

D: In terms of work, it has been hugely negative like every job I have left has been because of depression. Every single one without fail. So, its had a massive negative impact on my life in that sense. Thats why I had to figure out things for myself. You know work for me.

I: Have you ever been a part of any social group, club, or gym?

D: not at the minute. I did boxing, but I got a lot of injuries, so I cant go there anymore.

I: do you think that helped?

D: massively, yeah being part of a group itself helped and also being a combat thing. I mean on reflection throughout all this I can see I conclude that although it feels better to be alone and you think you are focusing on yourself, it's absolutely counterproductive. Its better to go out there and force yourself to speak to other people. Its more helpful. Its the sense of belonging and connection with people its really key.

I: Have you ever tried other ways to cope with your symptoms? like religion maybe, spirituality, meditation?

D: Yeah it forced me into looking beyond the everyday stuff into more spiritual stuff. I have read a lot into it. But I have never developed any affinity for anything. I would say that meditation to some extent has helped.

I: Last questions. if I were to ask you to describe an ideal man in the society, how would you describe him? It could be a role model or a man who other men should look up to.

D: probably someone whos got strong values with a family. Hes able to contribute to the society positively and also has his own affairs in order and also being open and not be afraid to share any problems he might have. Like if you have mental health problems, being able to speak about them and not feel like youve got to keep them inside.